we're all LARPers
a stolen joke, BUNKER/PREROLL, chicago
Dear friends,
This month I finally wrapped an article: Penny Beverly: From the sync world to the CA Shore. I chatted with Duncan and Michael this summer and then successfully put off the article for months. But I was so pleased with how it turned out. I am wildly uneducated about the sync world and the folks who intentionally create music for purposes like streaming and online use. What does it look like to shift from that to a personal project? What challenges does that pose?
TLDR: yolo.
I do a lot of guided meditations. I practice mentally hanging out in ethereal forests with nymphs guiding me down marble staircases or flattened out on a beach with a never-ending ocean before me that is forever warm.
Unfortunately, the smell of urine and smoke from distant bottle rockets drew me out of my calculated meditative moment at a Chicago bus stop on Mexican Independence Day. It was midnight, and I was stranded on the opposite side of town from where I needed to be after my Uber driver kicked me out of the car.
But if my last dying words were “I moshed to ‘BUNKER/PREROLL’. Twice,” I would be just fine with passing on into the next life. Maybe my nymphs are there.
Tommy Richman teased his debut album Coyote with a few shows last month, and mynameisntjmack opened for him at a Chicago bar. If I have anything, it’s a penchant for picking up when things are important. It’s what makes me intolerably pretentious sometimes.
Anyway, this show was important, which is exactly why I chose a stranger on Instagram with whom to share the experience.
Over the DJ set that was so loud you could hardly see straight and random people coming up to him about his social media (I got shown up for the first time in this regard), he hit me with a morsel of wisdom presented as a joke.
He delivered it like this was his tight ten at the Comedy Store, but instead of a microphone dangling nonchalantly out of his hand, there was a Modelo.
“Rappers… they’re a lot like LARPers.”
(Live Action Role Players, for those who don’t know.)
The only time I had ever seen real-life LARPers was at a park in my hometown. There were a bunch of seemingly grown adults gallivanting on a lawn. They had javelins padded with neon-colored foam pool noodles and eerily detailed medieval shields made of cardboard. Precisely what historical decade or associated video game they were identifying with, I’m not sure, but I can say that they looked like they were having a hell of a good time.
My companion went on. Rappers have costumes and alter egos and various accouterments to sell their style — stage presences foreign from their daily act and dark clubs to workshop their roles. The more proved his point with gestures and an eyebrow cock to seal the deal, the more I thought about those millennials in the park.
What’s especially funny about this comment is that it’s kind of the core of the song that I found two years ago, has been my top song every year since, and was the reason we were at the show. “BUNKER/PREROLL” is literally about what it feels like to be in a room full of people who seem sure of themselves. Richman even says he’s going to dye his hair blue to stand out. It’s basically the LARP anthem. I’m sleeping with one eye open after publishing that sentiment.
“I feel like the least important one in the room… everybody there don’t care I assume.”
I can imagine that to folks who don’t like rap, this is obvious. People who turn their nose up to the image many rappers pose of vanity, power, and clout are not going to get the charming aspect of it all, even when touting pop stars with LARP-ing tendencies of their own. But that’s the thing. We’re all LARPers.
We all play the roles we think will get us what we want. We dress certain ways depending on how we want to be perceived (I spent an hour trying to determine which jeans were appropriate for this show. Certainly not a high-rise function, though baggy jeans don’t do me favors. Denim is a science, and I’m no longer a woman in STEM). We change our language to suit whatever audience is around. We tune different parts of ourselves to adjust to the spaces we occupy. At risk of sounding like a male podcaster, we are animalistic in this sense — trying to thrive in whatever environment we are in through whatever means necessary.
Much of art is performance. It’s what makes this LARPing phenomenon so easy to see with musicians on a stage. We know that Tommy Richman does not walk around with a singular leather glove and that he probably cracks a smile from time to time. We know that jmack inevitably has to shift his dreads to see the self-checkout kiosk at his local Vons. We know that the three hours spent in The Chop House in Chicago is a highly orchestrated experience characterized by an attractive illusion of nonchalance. We love it for that reason.
My favorite shows are ones that marry those two realities both in the venue space and in myself. They bring music I typically only experience in the confines headphones to life with a surreal vibrancy. For one block of time, there is harmony between who I think I am and what my environment is.
The confidence and joy I feel when listening to “BUNKER/PREROLL” is certainly not felt every day. I go to sleep at 10 p.m. and very normal weekly loads of laundry will stress me out to the point of tears. But in the mosh pit that night, I was just as much a part of the communal experience as the artists on stage, the people in the pit, and the song itself.
“I feel like the least important one in the room…”
It helped that I knew every word and I had the correct jeans on, which I guess were my styrofoam javelin and cardboard shield.
I closed my eyes at the bus stop and tried to quell the nausea swelling in my stomach, but instead of forests or beaches I thought about the warm Coors light spilled on my white top the second the pit opened up. Against all odds, that’s what calmed me down.
Watch the BUNKER/PREROLL video here.
This month’s mix is called “dnd” because someone told me I have “do not disturb” on more hours of the day than anyone else. First I’ve got “GIRL IS MINE” off Trevor Spitta’s newest release. Obviously “BUNKER/PREROLL” is on here right at top to keep up with the energy. “MUTT” by Leon Thomas which speaks for itself. I am also loving “Barter 7 (Dig Dat)” by LOS KEMET which strikes a great balance between being energizing and chill at the same time. His flow is steady and punchy and I really like the hook.
My spotlight track of the month is one of my summer standouts: “GEMINI” by BLK ODYSSY and Jackie Giroux. This song so phenomenally captures the feeling of distressed desire. It’s tense. It’s basically if “Use Me” by Bill Withers met its 2024 R&B match. I think Giroux’s vocals knock this song out of the park. Giroux comes in second verse howling, almost screeching and elevates this track to a heightened level. The conflicting holy language and astrological imagery add a cool layer to the lyricism. Overall a banger that’s been on repeat for months now.
Take my head and drown me slowly
She's so dirty, not so holy
I cross my heart and hope to die
I fell for a Gemini
Rocka out,
Ally
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